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We all dream. But every once and a while, we’ll dream a God-sized dream.
A God-sized dream is bigger than us. It’s well out of our reach. A God-sized dream isn’t about US or about what WE want. It’s about GOD and what HE wants. And the bigger the God-sized dream, the less and less you’ll see yourself as adequate. And that’s exactly where He wants you. Why? So that you’ll focus on HIM, and trust HIM for the dream that He’s given you.
The defining moment of our lives is whether we will choose to pursue God-sized dreams down the path of self-reliance or down the path of God-reliance. And when our focus is not proportionately extended upward as it is outward or inward, the result is a loss of confidence. The result is that we will feel overwhelmed. And our dream will no longer feel liberating, but burdensome. The further outward our focus extends, and the more we focus on the needs and the injustice that exists all around us, the realization of our insufficiency will overwhelm even the most confident and committed and we’ll be brought to our knees in desperation for God to move and work. And in the moments of our lives where our insufficiency is met by his divine omnipotence, these are the moments that define us.
Sometimes, when you’re carrying around a God-sized dream, the Only One you’ll have to lean on IS God. Sometimes, when you’re carrying around a God-sized dream, the people all around you will tell you to shut up and be quiet. It’s what the crowds did to the two blind men in Matthew 20 as they cried out for Jesus to heal them.
Sometimes, people are stupid.
A God-sized dream is always too big to carry on your own. You need HIS strength and HIS power. And you need people all around you praying for you and praying with you.
I believe Jason Russell of Invisible Children has been carrying a God-sized dream for the past decade. And stupid people are telling him to shut up and be quiet.
Stupid people turn a blind eye to injustice. Stupid people can watch a video about children being stolen, slaughtered, abused, raped and tortured and then, rather than do something that matters, stupid people will tell a person with a dream to shut up. And stupid people will ridicule a person when the weight of their dream becomes so heavy they can no longer carry it on their own. Stupid people, rather than reach out a helping hand, will watch a man with a dream fall to his knees … and do nothing. Stupid people will tell a person with a God-sized dream that their dream was impossible anyway, so why bother.
According to this definition …
Stupid (dictionary.com) [stoo-pid; adjective] “to lack ordinary quickness; tediously dull, especially due to a lack of meaning or sense; in a state of stupor.”
… we’ve all been stupid.
I’ve been stupid. You’ve been stupid. The church has been stupid.
We’ve been slow on the draw. We’ve been slow to care about the things that God cares about. We’ve been slow to pray and to act on behalf of the suffering and poor and hurting and needy. With injustice and suffering mounting all around us, clearly, many of us have lived in a state of stupor and been slow to move, to act, and to live out the heart of God.
I don’t want to be stupid any longer.
Stupid people can see injustice and turn their head. Stupid people can see a need and walk away and do nothing. Stupid people think the world revolves around them and what they want.
Here’s my prayer …
“God, take the stupid out of ME; Take the stupid out of us all. And may we rise up and BE your church and make a difference in this world and stand up for those who are powerless, and speak up for those who have no voice, and rescue those who are lost, and bring your life and your peace to those who are restless. Let us BE your church, in Jesus’ name, AMEN!”
No more stupid.
PS. If you’re stupid, don’t watch this video. You might feel something.
Me: If you read Katie’s blog, you’ve heard this story. I thought she did such a great job telling it that I wanted to use her words as much as possible and then just add a few of my own as needed. So, here goes …
Katie: There are moments from your past that you look at and think: “How in the world did we make it through that?” And there are triggers that take you back to those moments. Sometimes it’s a smell, or a song or a name or a city. For me, Asheville, NC is a trigger. When I hear the name of that city I am immediately taken back to our short time there.
I can so vividly picture the endless and winding roads through the Blue Ridge mountains, sweet little Macy cooing in the back seat, the look of stress on my husband’s face and the pit in my stomach telling me: “You are alone and you don’t know where you are going.”
We had traveled to Asheville on a whirlwind tour. For months we had been praying: “God, where do you want us to go?” We knew that God wanted us to start something new … like a church. But we didn’t know where. All roads were pointing to Atlanta. We were ready to make the jump. There were people there, there was support there, and there were people who believed in us there.
Me: And that was worth a million dollars because at that time, not many people believed in us … at least, that’s how we felt.
Katie: Chad had Atlanta several times but we hadn’t been there together. So, we packed up our sweet, little 6-week old Macy and made the 8 hour drive.
Me: It was more like 12 hours. But whose counting?
Katie: Our first day there we knew … this isn’t it. Now what?
A dear friend in ministry had told us of the explosive growth happening in Asheville. Thousands of young people were relocating there. The majority of them were unchurched. We should check it out. So we did. Atlanta to Asheville we went.
Again … literally, within moments of arriving in Asheville, Chad and I looked at each other and laughed. This isn’t it either.
We decided to make the most of the few days we had there anyways. It was fall. The colors were beautiful. We drove and drove and drove. And it seemed the further we drove, the more afraid I became. The majority of our closest friends had turned their backs on us. Our home was for sale. We had a newborn baby. We had nowhere to go. I had never felt so alone in my entire life. I remember looking out the window and thinking: “God, how could you just leave us here?” I had been putting on a game face up until that point for Chad and the girls.
Me: I had put on a pretty good game face as well. But inside, I was terrified. I had a wife and two little girls to take care of. And I was traveling from city to city hoping that something would feel right. And the farther we drove, the larger the pit in my stomach grew.
Katie: The reality of our situation had finally set in. We were alone.
Me: I’ve never felt more alone in my life.
Katie: Several hours later we stopped at an overlook. It was gorgeous and vast. It struck me in that moment that God had numbered every single leaf on every single tree. He knew when each leaf would fall and when each tree would bloom. He knew it all and He had known it since the beginning of time.
We got back in the car. Macy was clearly getting sick of being in the car seat and we knew it was time to head back to the hotel.
Me: Katie was getting sick of driving too. She was starting to drive me nuts.
Katie: We made small talk on the way …
Me: … In between bouts of fighting and crying …
Katie: … and then we got back to talking about locations.
“I just wonder if we ought to pray more about Ohio,” I said. “Maybe even a city like Columbus.”
It sounds completely irresponsible and strange. But we knew. Chad literally traveled the country seeking God’s direction. He and I were in the middle of an extremely long trip with an extremely small baby. But somehow we knew. It was Columbus!
Me: I remember the moment I heard Katie suggest Columbus. The words that began processing in my head were, “Well now … that’s a dumb idea!” But no sooner had that thought crossed my mind I think my first words were, “That’s it. We’re moving to Columbus!” And that was that. Literally.
In one moment we had such peace. It was an unexplainable moment. And so, we got back to our hotel, Googled Columbus, and began planning our next trip to the city we would someday start a new church in.
Katie: We made a stop at the Billy Graham Retreat Center on the way back to the hotel.
Me: Okay, if we’re honest, Katie sort of smoothed this one over a bit. Yes, we felt sudden peace. Yes, we felt we finally knew where God wanted us to go. BUT … we were STILL in a car driving and we STILL had a 6-week old baby in the back seat and we were STILL driving each other nuts!
How I remember it … I took a wrong turn. Our GPS couldn’t find a signal. Katie was giving me directions in a not so calm and in a not super annoying voice. I was telling Katie in a very affirming and understanding tone that I knew what I was doing and where I was going … and in the midst of all of that peace and yelling (I mean, conversation) … we pulled off an exit, Katie suggested that I make a decision as to left or right … and there we sat … literally, at the entrance of the Billy Graham Retreat Center.
It was as if God was saying to us … “You have NO idea where you’re going … but I do!”
Katie: It was breathtaking.
Me: Not the yelling, but the Billy Graham Retreat Center.
Katie: The small museum there chronicling his life was inspiring and we could feel God’s presence as we walked through the sweet chapel his wife had designed. We were not alone. God was getting ready to do something. He had changed us.
Me: And talk about full-circle experiences …
Katie: This week we had the privilege of taking twelve of our amazing Rock City team members to benchmark a church in South Carolina. We spent three days there learning and growing. On our way home, the person driving …
Me: Which was not me for some reason. No one wanted to let me drive …
Katie: … The person driving took an alternate way home that just happened to lead us through Asheville, NC … TRIGGER.
We decided to make the stop and visit the Retreat Center with the team. Just a few short years ago, we had been there … ALONE, scared and unsure. So much has happened since then. God has blessed us with an amazing team, an amazing church that has seen hundreds of people come to know Christ, and a love for our city unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.
We made our way up to the prayer room above the chapel where we met Mable. She is an 84 year-old widow who spends the majority of her time praying for young people. I got the sense that even though she had never met us … she had been praying for us. Even though she had never been to Columbus … she had prayed for Columbus. She did not know our names or our story, but she had been praying for us.
Me: And that’s what’s so amazing about God. Very rarely do we really know where we’re going. It’s like God wants to show us the next step but not allow us to see too far down the road. Maybe it’s because if we could see too far down the road we’d freak out, wimp out. Maybe it’s because if we could see too far down the road we wouldn’t need as much faith. Whatever the reason, we may never know.
But one thing we can know is that God knows where He’s going. And God knows where He’s leading us. And we can trust Him. We can trust Him with everything. And He’s got a contingency for every misstep of our lives. He’s got a contingency for every detour we take.
Because, at the end of the day, God is God. He’s in charge. And His love for us is greater than we can ever fully know. And He wants to get us where He wants to get us far more than we want to get there.
And He’ll use people like Mable to pave the way through prayer.
And even though there have been many times, and still are times, when we feel alone … we are NEVER really alone. God is with us. He is here. And He is doing something in us and in this city and in this church beyond our wildest dreams.
This past Sunday morning we announced the launch of a 3rd Sunday Morning Worship Experience to a packed house! This past Sunday’s attendance was the biggest to date, with 518 people coming together to worship. Beginning in just five weeks, on Easter Sunday, we will begin offering 3 identical Sunday morning worship experiences … 9:00am / 10:45am / 12:30pm. And we anticipate hundreds of brand new people walking through our doors on Easter and in the weeks following.
Because of our continued growth, our leadership team has been praying for months for God to expand our capacity as a church to reach more people. Slowly and steadily the walls of the AMC Theatre have been closing in on us. Though we’ve had many people looking for new venues and opportunities, the prospects so far have been few. A few weeks ago the idea of adding a third Sunday morning service was dead in the water. When we put in our formal request for an extension the exact words we received in reply were, “No” and “Impossible.”
A few weeks ago, we got a call from the same office telling us that they were closing down their business. No longer would we be working with a national office in regards to our worship times and theatre contracts. Rather, we were directed to our local theatre management. I hung up the phone and couldn’t help but let out the biggest HOORAY … but since I was alone at the office, no one was there to hear me. When a tree falls and there is no one to hear it, does it still make a noise? Haha …
This past week we were given the green light on an opportunity that was dead in the water. God turned the impossible into reality over night.
This past Sunday, more than 200 people answered the call to step up and help us reach the lost … each person offering to serve in whatever capacity needed to get this service successfully off the ground and to be ready for the hundreds of new people that we are expecting to walk through our doors in just a few weeks.
Thank you for your prayer and support. Thank you for believing in a church that reaches the spiritually restless and unchurched. Thank you for getting behind something that ISN’T normal. It’s because of you that we are reaching the people we are reaching. It’s because of you that we are able to make a difference in this city and beyond.
In my heart, I believe we are ON THE VERGE of a move of God like we have never seen. I believe it for Columbus. I believe it for Rock City. I believe it for churches all across America. I believe the heart of His Church is beginning to turn back to the things God cares about … reaching the lost, bringing hope and healing to the sick, the needy, the desperate, the weak. I believe the focus of the church is shifting and people are engaging like never before. I can see God’s heart being lived out through the most unlikely of people, in the most unlikely of ways. And all the glory belongs to HIM alone.
To HIM Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine! To HIM be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus, throughout ALL generations! Forever and ever. Amen.
ON YOUR MARK …
Dear Rock City,
I was a first-time guest to your church this past Sunday. I was invited by my dear friends. I am “Sue” from the ONE for ONE story you shared.
[One day recently, Sue came home to an empty house. Her husband had taken all of their belongings, emptied their entire house, zeroed out their bank accounts, and pawned everything they had for drugs. Sue’s husband had become a heroin addict. Sue, along with her 3 year old son, must now start over. Everything they had was taken. And when we heard Sue’s story, we knew we had to do something].
I fell in love with someone that became a heroin addict who stole everything from me. To be honest, I lost sight of a lot in my life after being in the situation that I was in. When you hurt and your soul and spirit have taken a beating, you need to find peace somewhere. I think your church found me.
I am facing challenging times right now with the loss of my home and my belongings because of an addict in my family (my former spouse). Your church, not ever having met me, took it upon yourselves to help me and my son. You gave me a gift card to put towards getting belongings for a new home so that again, someday soon, I can make a new home with my 3 year old son.
I am forever grateful and humbled by your church’s generosity and caring. I feel like a thank you isn’t even enough as you have no idea the impact this has had on me and my son. It gives me great hope again to feel like my son and I have a chance at restarting our lives. Being a single mom now, all I have is hope to get me through this.
I felt utterly welcomed at your church with people being so unbelievably nice. It is a very welcoming place that you should be proud of.
From the bottom of my heart, I am forever grateful to you for caring and helping. In challenging times, it is nice to have people and organizations that care. So, thank you!
I look forward to visiting your church again with my friends.
Sue.
This week, more people, including Scott, joined millions of Christians who’ve come before them, the early Christians … many of whom faced death because of their faith in Christ … and were baptized in water OUTSIDE in February … the COLDEST month of the year!
Yes, Scott … John has your back and so do we.
Part of the joy of following Christ is knowing that you’re a part of a community of believers who’ve got your back … who will support you, pray for you, encourage you, and help you along the way as together, we all do our best to keep our eyes on the prize and our focus on the ONE who leads us.
PS. If you can watch this video and not shed a happy tear … check your pulse.
The people of Israel have been defeated. The dust has settled. The smoke has lifted. They find themselves on the shores of the rivers of Babylon, defeated, captive, and crying out to God for their freedom and for their fallen nation. And just when it seems safe to assume that God has left the building, that God has turned His back on this people, Ezekiel 37:1 records that “the hand of the Lord was upon [Ezekiel].”
As we follow the trends of American culture, particularly among emerging generations and pertaining to faith, what the latest research suggests is that there is a major shift taking place, even from just a few years ago. A few years ago the big news was that there seemed to be 6 major perceptions of Christianity among mainstream Americans. Not surprising, the perceptions were all negative. NOW, research suggests that it’s not that Americans carry negative perceptions of Christianity and the church, but that, particularly among those in emerging generations, people aren’t carrying ANY perception at all. In short, the American church continues to fall off the radar and seems to be edging on the brim of complete irrelevancy.
Certainly, there are those who continue to bemoan these studies. I just have a hard time getting all worked up about these “facts” because I happen to believe that God is BIGGER than our facts. God is BIGGER than our trends.
God transports Ezekiel to a valley of dead dry bones. Ezekiel 37 records this encounter. The valley of bones represents the nation of Israel. It’s a scene of despair, loss and failure. It’s a hopeless sight. Yet God asks Ezekiel if these bones can live? Ezekiel answers the best he can by suggesting to God that He and only He knows if these bones can live.
God then commands Ezekiel to prophecy to the bones … speak to the bones what he hears the Lord saying. And the message is that God is going to breathe NEW LIFE into these dead, dry bones. God is going to bring hope to the most hopeless of situations. God is going to bring life into the most lifeless of circumstances.
And it’s as if God is saying to Ezekiel … “Look at these people! When they had it all together, when they were well fed and taken care of, when they lived under my blessing, there’s something they forgot. They forgot me! And they stopped relying on me! And I haven’t had their heart in such a long time. And now the stage is set. I’ve got them right where I want them. And when I step in and do what ONLY I can do, they’re going to know that it was ME. And I’m going to have their heart once again. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted. All I’ve ever wanted is the heart of my people.”
There are people who lament the demise of the American Church, but not me. Certainly, a lot of church doors continue to close. But a lot of NEW doors are beginning to open! And I happen to believe that in the midst of the greatest spiritual crisis this nation has ever faced, the stage is being set for God to do something like we’ve never seen.
It’s as if God was showing Ezekiel that the stage was set. The dreams of a nation completely lost. All hope gone. God has “certainly” left the building. There is no chance of resuscitation. And then God says, “That’s exactly where I want you to be. So that, when I show up, you’ll recognize me. And I’ll again have your heart.”
I believe we are going to see a generation not only experience the presence of God like never before, but LIVE OUT the heart of God like never before. I believe the hearts of the people of His church are beginning to turn again to the things that God cares deeply about. Things like, brining hope to the hopeless, peace to the restless, life to those who are spiritually dead.
I can see the heart of His church beginning to shift away from programs and inward focused campaigns to reaching the lost, the hurting and the hopeless with the message and love of Christ. And as we continue to shift in our hearts and our focus, I believe we will begin to see a shift in momentum as well.
As the people of God begin to live out the heart of God, everyone wins.
Can these dead bones live?
I KNOW they can.
I’m seeing dead bones come to live every day.
This week ONE for ONE provided $507 in groceries, toiletries, and basic supplies for a local single mom and her three kids!
Here’s a letter we received this week:
Dear Rock City,
When you announced that in February our ONE for ONE efforts would go towards blessing single parents, I could not stop thinking of our dear friend whose life was literally turned upside down six months ago.
It was at that time that our friend was shocked to realize that her husband had been keeping a terrible secret that would impact their family forever. The months following were like a nightmare as formal charges were brought against her husband and he was convicted and sent to prison for 18 years without the possibility of parole.
They were the picture-perfect family. She was a stay-at-home mom and he took care of providing for the family. Their three children were involved in sports, church, and had many friends.
Fast forward just six months … she (without an education beyond high school) is a single parent struggling to provide even the most basic needs for her children.
This journey for our family has been difficult as well, as we have struggled with the trust that was broken and the anger at what had taken place. We were devastated that we had potentially put our family in harm’s way and blindsided since we thought we knew this man whom we had called a close friend.
During the next few months God began to work on our hearts and give us the compassion we needed to help our friend and her children through this difficult time. We realized that her children needed a safe place to share their family heartaches with and to let loose and have fun.
Eventually, we decided to reach out to them like Jesus had reached out to us. As we did, we realized just how dyer their situation was … without any income, limited savings, a mortgage, private education and bills piling up by the minute.
One day I dropped by with a pack of toilet paper and you would have thought I brought by a thousand dollars. Our prayer is that God’s love would be shown to this fragile family and that their hearts would begin to heal.
Thank you Rock City for being Jesus to our dear friends!
What I LOVE about Rock City is the heart of the people. On Sunday, after hearing what Rock City was able to do through ONE for ONE, several people stepped up to offer additional support!
In all, this week we were able to bless this family, through ONE for ONE, and through the awesome generosity of the people of Rock City, with $1,314.00!
Now … THAT’S ROCK CITY!
THAT’S THE CHURCH!
If you’ve read my last two posts, you know where I’m headed with this. Sex is everywhere. Sexual temptation is everywhere. And if we’re honest, even the most noble of people, even the best of Christians can easily fall in this area. Even the most committed husband, even the most honorable mother can fall in this area. Our culture baits us sexually from every direction and from every angle. That’s why, when it comes to sex, we need more than guardrails … we need reinforced steel. So here’s 3 more guardrails to consider …
3. ESTABLISH ACCOUNTABILITY
First off, let me just say this as directly as humanly possible … IF there’s a computer in your home that’s not protected with anti-porn software or some sort of accountability software, you should throw that computer in the trash. When it comes to sexual purity online, when 70% of men in a given month give in, when 57% of Christian Pastors saying it’s a strong temptation … there’s NO NEED TO TRUST ANYONE … not yourself, not your husband, not your wife, not your children … no one. When it comes to online purity, trust won’t get you far. I won’t even trust myself. Rather than trust I suggest that you KNOW online porn isn’t an issue for you or someone you love by taking the appropriate precautions. Examples of available software are SafeEyes and X3Watch. Download one, use it. You won’t regret it.
When it comes to life in general (real life, not online life), it’s also important to have accountability with someone you trust. Remember, a conviction unspoken is a conviction that WILL BE broken. Find a Life-Giving friend and be honest. It’s worth it to have a person in your life that you can be an open book to.
4. HONOR GOD’S DESIGN AND INTENTION FOR WHEN AND WHERE SEX IS TO BE EXPERIENCED. It’s natural for us to drift from God’s design and intention. We’ve been doing it since the original fall of man. Honoring God takes intentional effort and discipline. And when it comes to sex, we’re always trying to see how close we can get to the line without technically stepping over it. Every time sex is mentioned in Scripture it’s ALWAYS in relation to marriage … either as something to be enjoyed and experienced within the context of marriage … OR something of a slippery slope with a world of regret waiting for you at the bottom.
When sex is experienced between two people, there’s a vulnerability that’s shared. And God has created the safest place possible for such vulnerability and intimacy to be shared … and that is within marriage. It’s not that God doesn’t want us to have fun. It’s not that God wants to stifle, but God knows what’s best. And it’s our job to trust him and honor Him. Period.
5. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO BEGIN AGAIN
This may not sound like a guardrail, but it may be the most important guardrail you establish in your life. Here’s why … no matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done, what’s been done TO you, it’s never too late to begin again. In Christ, there is no condemnation. There is peace, joy, life, forgiveness, and new beginnings.
For someone that means that, even though you’ve been sexually active since the time you started following Christ, you can draw a line, establish a guardrail, and decide to honor God with your body from this point on. Today can be your new beginning.
For someone else, maybe you’re living with your significant other, and you know that with as good of intentions as you may have of remaining sexually pure together, sleeping in the same bed, living under the same roof certainly isn’t going to help your cause. Sometimes when we separate ourselves from these kinds of circumstances for the moment, there is just enough space created for God to supernaturally work in our hearts, heal us, restore us … and the intimacy gained will be far greater, between you and your significant other, and between you and God, than ever before.
Bottom line, most of us have made plenty of sexual mistakes. Most of us carry with us guilt from past sexual experiences. And, if we’re honest, it’s really not all that easy to remain sexually pure in this culture. BUT, IF we are intentional, IF we have accountability, and IF we establish guardrails to protect and direct us, we CAN honor God … we CAN remain pure. And I can promise you this … no one has EVER regretted establishing these kinds of guardrails … but a lot of people HAVE regretted NOT establishing guardrails BEFORE it was too late.
1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to FLEE from sexual immorality. Notice the Apostle Paul isn’t urging us to “pay attention” or “be careful.” He’s telling us that, if we’re really going to live the life Jesus died for us to be able to live, then, when it comes to sexual experiences that are outside of God’s design and will, we should FLEE … Run fast.
If you’re a Christian you know this. If you’re not a Christian you’re probably thinking … “Who cares? I don’t need some pastor or book telling me how to live my life, especially THIS part of my life!” But here’s what I know about you … This is what YOU WANT! Maybe not for yourself, but for the people you care about the most. This is what you want for your husband, for your wife, for your boyfriend, for your children, grandchildren. You don’t want your husband or your little girl flirting with sex … you want your husband, wife, son, daughter to FLEE!
We’re told to flee because sex really is a big deal. Our culture will tell us that sex is purely physical … but we all know better don’t we? Sex is so much more than that.
The thing about disaster is that it’s pretty much possible to bounce back from just about any kind of disaster. A person can suffer professional disaster … lose her job and go bankrupt. She works hard, makes good decisions and comes back stronger than ever. Physical disaster … a college athlete has a career ending injury, told he will never walk again … but he overcomes the odds and wins the silver metal at the Olympics. These are the stories we love to tell, we love to hear. They are stories of triumph. But when it comes to sexual disaster, sexual sin, sexual histories, these are the stories no one ever wants to talk about. We don’t laugh about. Married couples won’t stay up late to entertain one another with stories from their colorful sexual histories. Why? Because it’s more than physical … and the damage done will follow with you for the rest of your life.
That’s why we need guardrails. We’re being baited. We’re being pulled, lured. And it’s not easy anymore to stay faithful, with our eyes, with our hearts, with our bodies. Even with the best of intentions, it’s still possible to run into sexual disaster because it’s all around us.
Here’s two more guardrails to consider …
2a. [For Marrieds] I WILL NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO BE ALONE WITH A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. This is when you’re supposed to tell me how this is way too extreme and impossible to live up to. And it’s also when I tell you how I live this out in my own life.
As a pastor, there are a lot of people who require my time. There are meetings. There are coffee appointments … lots of them (and I don’t even drink coffee). Early on in the life of our church I found myself in a meeting with a woman about an opportunity for our church. We were at a local lunch spot so there were lots of people around. I didn’t know what this woman looked like until we met face to face. It’s always been a no-brainer for me to NOT travel alone with another woman … NOT to ride in a car alone with another woman … those are easy, common sense. But everybody knows that meals are where deals are made. So, I had this meeting. Problem was, she was quite attractive. And I found myself feeling a bit awkward.
I called my wife after our lunch appointment and told her that I felt awkward and that the woman I had just met with was quite pretty. I also told my wife that I really didn’t think I should’ve had that meeting alone. It’s not that I did anything wrong, or even wanted to. These kinds of meetings happen all of the time. BUT, I’m not interested in living an ordinary kind of life because the natural ebb and flow of our culture doesn’t do much for honoring marriage and maintaining sexual purity. So, we decided, no more coffee appointments, no more lunch meetings, no more one-on-one counseling appointments with woman alone (which, I don’t think I’ve ever done anyway). If the need arises for me to meet with a woman, I take my wife, or somebody else. And I’ve become a master of connecting women with other women … you would’ve thought?
It’s a guardrail that’s WELL within the safety zone, so this one gets a big of pushback, but it’s a guardrail worth implementing. When I think of the story of Joseph and Potipher’s wife in Genesis 37, it says that “One day [Joseph] went into the house to attend his duties and [no one else was inside].” That’s when Potipher’s wife jumped Joseph and tried to get him in the sack. Joseph did the right thing, he RAN … BUT … because he was alone, it still ended quite badly for Joseph. He spent many years in prison on attempted rape charges. My point is, why open the door to question? Why open the door to unnecessary temptation? Just establish the guardrail.
2b. [For Singles] I WILL BE CAUTIOUS AND INTENTIONAL ABOUT THE TIME I SPEND ALONE WITH A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
Here’s a few thoughts on what being cautious and intentional looks like.
Being cautious means I won’t spend the night at my boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s house. If you’re a Christian, that should be a no-brainer. Sadly though, it’s not. Don’t set yourself up for a fall. Don’t open the door to temptation. Be cautious.
Being intentional means you’ve established boundaries, TOGETHER. Remember this: A conviction unspoken will be a conviction broken. I learned this the hard way during the time I dated my wife. Any time we held back our personal convictions from each other, we’d violate them. We’d cross the line and then say things like, “I thought that’s what YOU wanted …” And then the other would say something like, “I thought that’s what YOU wanted. I really didn’t want to cross this line, yet, here, now …”
Communicate. Be open. Establish boundaries. And honor God in your relationships. When you’re intentional and open about the boundaries you’re establishing in your relationships, it’s easier to honor God. It’s easier to remain pure.
[I’ll post the last 3 guardrails tomorrow] …
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